Can you say #3?!

Ok, I should preface this by saying that I'm not a sports junkie. I don't know much about stats for any popular sport, I probably can't tell you much about most of the players on my favorite team, but like my love of wine, I do know that I love me some Cal Bears Football. And this was an unbelievable weekend to be a Bears fan. After a nailbiting game on Saturday with the Oregon Ducks (M is a Duck fan, through and through), the Bears staked their claim to the #2 spot in the Pac-10 and the #3 spot in the country!!! (according to the latest AP Poll). http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3043603
I could not be more thrilled!

Sadly this comes as a blow to the Ducks, one of whom is my hubby, so the game yesterday was pretty intense. But a funny story too... see we were to attend a wedding in Sonoma yesterday afternoon that started at 5pm. As you probably know, the game wasn't over until almost 5pm. So, while we watched the game, we got ready for the wedding on commercial breaks, yelling to each other when to come back to the family room because the game was back on. M was frantically packing for his trip Sunday morning (5am no less), doing dishes, ironing his shirt for the wedding; while I was running around with one shoe on/off, curling my hair, trying to do makeup and not burn myself between runs back to the TV. Yup, this is how we roll.

We finally got the Tivo up to the "LiveTV" part and were able to then jump in the car, which M had already programmed to 810am, and drive up to Sonoma. I don't remember much about the drive except being scared that M was driving. That was perhaps a bad judgment call on my part. But we made it alive... and with about 10 minutes to spare before the ceremony started. But poor M had to compose himself, and I did have to remind him to cheer up a bit. It was a wedding for the love of (insert spiritual icon of choice)! Although that did not stop us, or anyone else at the wedding, from lamenting or celebrating the outcome of the Cal-Oregon game, as well as the Florida game (a lot of East Coasters in attendance). I seriously gave one of our servers a high-five when he revealed that he was a Cal fan too and had to miss the last part of the game to get the winery ready for this wedding.

I was talking to W this afternoon about how her fiancee handled the outcome. W is also in a Duck-Bear household, so we often comiserate about how our boys are handling things. Similarly, V was less than thrilled. He has now vowed to "have nothing to do with those Bears," which could be a problem since us girls want to attend some games together! :-)

Wintermute promises to grow up next weekend. I, on the other hand, do not. The Bears deserve bragging rights this year! Wintermute is right, we may be notorious for complaining that we don't get respect in the BCS polls. (which we don't!) So it's no surprise when I say that, true to form, I believe we (the Bears and the Pac-10) will finally get some respect this Fall.

Roll on you Bears......

Strike! Strike!

So... even though I had planned to take a break from drinking and debauchery in a couple weeks, my body decided enough was enough. I've been fighting a cold since returning from Canada (on Sept 10th people, it's almost October)... and was doing well and feeling about 95% good until attending, and drinking my way through, the Now & Zen Fest in Golden Gate Park last Sunday. (It's pretty bad when the following two things happen: [1] One needs the pictures one took while drunk to remember that one did indeed see both Joss Stone and James Blunt play and [2] A friend emails me to say that a new co-worker just introduced herself on Monday because I told the new co-worker at the bar we went to after the concert that my friend recently started at X company... and that is when I finally recall meeting said co-worker at the bar)

On Monday morning, my body went on strike. I woke up with the familiar sore throat and knew exactly what was headin' my way. Sure enough, Tuesday afternoon, on BART no less, my nose decided to empty its complete contents without a tissue in sight. Awesome. I ended up trying to inconspicuously use a Wet Wipe (antibacterial hand wipe that is indeed wet) to clear up this mess. Not good. And the rest of the week was done. I've been working through this, making only morning appointments with clients (since that's when my body decides to cooperate). Made it to the doctor again for the second time in a 10 days for more drugs. (none of that hippie shit for me, gimme the drugs). And now I feel I am legitimately on the road to recovery. This time I vow not to fall off the wagon and drink myself silly, go out late, or do anything remotely un-healthy until this damn cold is gone. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Wintermute: I hear ya, this is one nasty bugger of a cold, times two. (although the doc informs me that I've somehow got a new virus, not a crappier version of the old one). I hope you're feeling better soon too.

Till Big Crush......

A complete 180?

First, a note about my links. I'm not savvy on blogspot, so apologies that the links to blogs i'm reading aren't great. I'll figure it out someday.

I was thinking about my first few posts, in particular the one about drinking, in contrast with recent events we've attended. I do believe we've done a complete 180. This past weekend we attended 2 drinking events (one big, one small), last weekend--2 drinking events (one big, one small), and next weekend looks like it's going to be the same. To be fair, we are doing other things as a couple besides drinking, but it's hard to break out of the mold of hanging out with your friends and having a bottle of wine (or in some instances 2 or 3). But I must admit, two Sundays in a row of pretty decent drinking have made my Mondays, as well as my recovery from this nasty cough, quite slow. The thing is, I don't see respite in the near future. Next weekend we've got a wedding, at a winery no less, and the weekend after that we head up to wine country for a harvest festival with friends.

I think after that M and my liver are going on strike. M actually loved not drinking when I was pregnant. So I think I'm going to try to preemptively head off his objections to any further drinking events on weekends by scheduling some much needed detox after Big Crush. Some yoga, running, biking and/or spinning, along with a healthy veggie & no-wine detox weekend will do us both some good. Coincidentally, the weekend I'm scheduling detox is the same weekend we have a volunteer event, so it'll good for me, M, our livers and the community. All tied up nice and neat, huh?

2008: Year of the Wedding (not Year of the Pig)

I don't know what's in the water these days, but it seems like everyone we know is getting married. Every year since 1998, M and I have attended on average 3-4 weddings a year. That's normal I'd say given our age and where we are in our lives. This year was a little higher, we're attending our 5th wedding in 2 weeks. But next year is unprecedented, we have been invited to 6 weddings. 6 weddings people! These are all friends that we've known for a long time, some of these friends have been there with me in the trenches of my first summer associate experience, studying & taking the bar, my first year of practice, and one I've known since junior high. So it's not like they are weddings we want to miss. The other interesting thing is that even though 4 of the 6 couples live here in the Bay Area, only one of the weddings will actually be here, local. In fact (i'm certainly not complaining about this) we have 2 in Oahu back-to-back. This is insane! I'm starting to feel like we're wedding crashers, without the crashing part. I honestly don't know how we are invited to so many weddings. Don't get me wrong, I love going and I'm honored that these wonderful people have asked us to be there on their most special day. But I'm starting to wonder if we have a neon sign above our heads that says "Invite me!"

So next year, in lieu of a single, long vacation M and I are taking many mini vacations to the following amazing destinations: Savannah, Milwaukee (in the summer I hear it's beautiful!), Tahoe and Honolulu (twice). Woo hoo!

Don't remind me how much all of this is going to cost. Even a rough calculation of just wedding gifts and bridal shower gifts (not including travel, bachelorette parties, etc) over the past 10 years brings us to about $5000. It's gonna get crazy once all of these newlyweds start having babies.

There may be a chance that I'll be unable to attend a few of these weddings if (fingers crossed) I get pregnant again. But I'm hoping I can go to at least one of the Hawaii weddings, even if it's 9 months pregnant or with a newborn. Cuz you know, that's our old 'hood, so it's only fitting it's the first place our kid would go with us.

Back in the States

Going to Canada is always an interesting experience for lots of reasons. First, M has family there, so we're always zipping off to see someone regardless of what province we're in. BC, Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia--seriously. Whaddya need. But also because it's seriously M's turf! Since M has an insanely good memory, he rememers every slight detail about his life there. For example, ever since I've known him, he's been singing the theme song for their version of Little Caesar's Pizza.. and I thought it was a joke. (14 years of hearing this little ditty people, 14 years) No joke.
967 11-11, call Pizza Pizza hey hey hey!

Pizza Pizza's number is still the same! In fact it's plastered all over their signage in the City.

We also had to do all the traditional Canada stuff--Tim Hortons Timbits (yum) and coffee. For those of you not married to a Canuck, Timbits are the part of the donut cut out to make the hole. Genius way to make a buck from every part of a donut.

We went to Sobey's (grocery chain) and Shoppers (Walgreen's) for various items. We drove 1400 kms in 2 days (canadians drive long distances for fun, seriously). We drank a few Alexander Keith's. Yum. We rode the red rocket in TO. Toronto is called TO by locals, the Red Rocket is the subway. We seriously did it all. And that was only the first 3 days. We then flew a few thousand more kms to Halifax, Nova Scotia to visit the other side of the family and surprise M's grandma for her 80th birthday. As exhausting as this trip was, I absolutely love visiting that side of the family. They have their own flavor of crazy (and now I see where M's mom gets it), but I adore the family. The cousins are fantastic, even when they're dealing with some seriously f'ed up sh*t. It makes me wish they lived closer.

But visiting Canada this time made me think about how awesome it is. Yeah, the taxes are high but every single person has healthcare. The people are kind, they've got some kick ass cities with awesome food, waterfronts and nature. Think about it, the population of the entire country is roughly the same as California (33Mil) and they've got the whole damn country to spread out in! Canada also has an endearing quality that I've never felt here. Canadians love their country. It's the wierdest thing being an American and seeing that. Half the country here doesnt support the President at any given time and everyone bitches about everything. (with good cause, dont get me wrong) But it's just not like that up there and it's kinda refreshing.

I also love how education is still accessible to everyone. It's not insanely expensive like it is here (due in part to the high taxes). But Canadians also place true value on trade schools. They aren't looked down upon, in fact electricians, machinists, mechanics are viewed as professions. That's one thing we don't do here. Sure, you can become an electrician or plumber, but you're never going to be treated as a professional like a businessperson or something. It's just different up there.

One other thing that's super cool? It's a dual language country, so even if you don't want to, you will learn French if you live there. I love it. It's perfect because the English translation is always there in case I couldn't figure out what the sign said or what the flight attendant was saying. We listened to a few hours of French radio on the way up to Northern Ontario (we were literally across the lake from Quebec, I could have swam there) and it was awesome. Everyone speaks some French, regardless of how long it's been since they've practiced, because it's literally everywhere. M's little 6 year old cousin recited the Three Little Pigs to us in French. And she learned French in her french immersion classes at her public school. Love it!

I don't know if it's all the good clean Canadian air, the abundance of trees or just plain having some time off, but I heart Canada now.

36

For some strange reason, the stars are aligning and making me consider the number 36. M's father was 36 when he died. Today, Aug 31st, is the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's death in 1997. She was 36. I happen to be simultaneously DVR'ing a show on Princess Diana and a cheesy movie about a girl who finds herself in her 30s. We are also about to embark on our trip to commemorate M's father, J, to Canada on our trip and I am thinking about a special gift to leave at J's gravesite. Not to mention that both M and I are in our early 30s. So I'm thinking a lot about the number 36.

When J was 36 he had a 10 year old son. M and I have been together, collectively, for over 14 years. We could easily have a 10 year old child. But for many reasons, that was never in the cards. And now, post-miscarriage of course, I'm wondering why. Rationally... intellectually there are tons of reasons why. M was in flight school, then flying for the airlines, then I went to law school and did the big law firm gig for awhile. Then I switched careers. And all of a sudden here we are... in our 30s. Where did the time go?! Sure, we've moved 12 times in our 7 years of marriage (11 moves in the first 5 years). We were busy. But were we really too busy?

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret a single thing M and I have done in our lives together. We've travelled all over the world. We've seen and done things lots of folks our age aren't normally able to do. And we've created an incredible bond that is literally unbreakable. We've both come to realize that this miscarriage is part of the tapestry of our marriage, it always will be. But when you take time... give pause to think about where you will be in a few years... versus where your parents were at your own age. It does make you wonder.

J was incredibly, and I mean *incredibly*, mature and responsible for his age. J left his 10 year old son with life insurance and an inheritance sufficient for M to pursue higher education, private for the most part, post-mortem. He left him with a strong memory and an even stronger set of morals and values than I have (and both of my parents are still alive). When M recants stories of what his dad did, on VERY little sleep for the 10 years they were together, as a single parent no less, I am seriously awed by it. J instilled in M the kind of strength, maturity and character I measure every man, every human, against. (which is why I could never find another man as amazing as M, truly) It's really incredible what he did from the time he was 26 until he died. And M remembers every moment with unbelievable clarity.

I don't really know what the point of this post is. All I know is that I strive to be the kind of person, and parent, J was. And the funny thing is... I never met him. But to leave the kind of legacy that he did when he was only 36 years old is a feat I can't even fathom. I can only honour it and hope that my kids say the same thing about me when they're 36.

One more week

I could blame it on the pregnancy, but really it's not about that. For the past month or so, I've been feeling really burned out at work. I've only been at this job for 13 months, so it's not really justifiable in the length sense. But for some reason (and I never thought I'd feel like this) I don't feel like I'm ever really challenged at this job. Sure, getting the work done is time consuming, but it never stretches my brain the way that the practice of law used to. On the other hand, I used to hate that I was so mentally exhausted by work, in addition to the long hours. So I can't tell which is worse. All I know is that I have one more week, really 4 more days of work plus an extra day, before I can get away from it all for at least one week.
M & I are spending a week in Canada visiting family, his father's grave in WAY northern Ontario (like 6.5 hours north of Toronto, no joke), and surprising his grandmother on her 80th birthday. We'll be all over the place from Toronto and northern Ontario to way out east in Halifax (Nova Scotia)... and it'll be hectic. But I'm so looking forward to it. One whole week of being away from reminders of the miscarriage, of not doing chores around the house, about not worrying about what's for dinner or taking the garbage out or the stack of dishes I hate to do during the week when M is gone on a trip. A whole week of semi-vacation. (It's not really vacation unless we go somewhere of our choosing like Greece or Thailand or something... family visits don't count :-)
Hopefully when we return, I'll be rested and ready to tackle the insanity that Fall always brings in this job. Hopefully I'll give two shits about my numbers, performance measures and revenue.

5 more days.....