Writing again

I always forget how therapeutic writing is for me until I start doing it again. It all started on the plane rides back and forth to Oklahoma--thinking about my grandma before she died and what I'd like to say at her funeral afterwards. But then I filled up my old journal (it was almost done anyways), so I bought a beautiful new journal. Nothin' like a new journal to motivate me to write!

And see, now that I'm writing there again, I'm writing here more too.

Not that I have much interesting to share--E has his first ear infection--poor little guy. I took 2 days off work to stay home with him. Which, coincidentally, worked out because I've been sick all week and the weather has sucked like no other. So, walking around from firm to firm sounded awful. Staying home with my sick almost 1 1/2 year old actually sounded better. And it was in more ways than one. First, I knew he was getting the best care possible with his parent(s). And two, I learned that maybe I could do the stay-at-home job. I've always doubted my ability to be a stay-at-home mom because every time I've tried to stay home with him, it's so damn hard. He wants constant attention, to play non-stop (except when he's sleeping) and gets pissed pretty easily when he's not being paid any attention. (like most toddlers) But what I've discovered is that when I'm not trying to do my paid job at the same time, it's *so* much better. Huh. So maybe I could do it.

Except for the fact that I actually like working. And I'm really excited about the new job that I just interviewed for. But at least I know that if I had to, I could stay home with him for awhile. Although I'm not entirely sure how long for. The difference this week was that I did have my paid job to go back to. Hm.

Anyways, making time for writing necessarily means that other past times get less time. And that's ok too. It's a good adjustment to make and for the betterment of all involved.

Happy Friday! Here's to hoping this nasty cough goes away so I enjoy Frivolo this weekend!

I'm ready for a staycation

It's been an absolutely exhausting 10 days. Of the last 10 days, I've spent 7 in Oklahoma and/or on planes between California and Oklahoma. My first visit was to see my grandmother before she passed. Not more than 20 hours after I left her bedside, she died, on Monday, January 11th. Just 6 weeks shy of her 98th birthday. So, I packed up, organized travel and bundled up my boys and headed back to Oklahoma on Thursday for the funeral services over the weekend.

The day of the funeral was the most sad, emotionally exhausting, yet celebratory and fun day that weekend. My cousin had the entire family over after the post-cemetery dinner and after many hugs and tears, the alcohol flowed. Let's just say we all like our drinks.

Despite the gloomy feeling of the weekend, the one bright spot was seeing my son enjoy all of his cousins and second cousins. We don't have any young kids in our family in California and now with a little one, I desperately wish we did. It's so fun! and easy! You just dump the kids in the family room or outside with each other and fun ensues. They come in when they're dirty, hungry or tired and we feed them, bath them and get them ready for bed. And bam, you're done for the night. Easiest parenting experience ever!

And even though the kids outnumbered us, it seemed like we never had to worry about them. The older ones took care of the younger ones, the younger ones screamed when something was really wrong and at least one responsible adult was always available to pick up the pieces.

I'm entertaining the thought of buying a little abode out there so we can spend more time with the family as E gets older. We both really want him to experience the closeness of family and know who these people are. It saddens me enough that he wont know my grandmother--a woman who influenced everyone in our family--and I don't want him to be the lost cousin way out in California.

Anyways--after 6,000 miles back and forth, 4 layovers in Denver, 1 lost (and recovered) bag, hours in the car driving between family homes and now one minor cold (for me and E)---we are HOME. FOR GOOD. As much as I'd like a vacation, I cant fathom getting on another airplane for a long time (except for work in a couple weeks). Not because of E--he did fabulous this time! We bought him his own seat and plunked him down in the car seat--which made him comfortable and happy. And bonus--due to all the travel we endured in 2009, I got a fabulous bump up to Premier status, which made the travel experience so much better (premier security line, earlier online check in, automatic economy plus, free bag checks, etc). But it's more the upheaval of life and the chaos when we return home that I'm done with. So, yeah, I'm ready for a staycation.

Time, I've finally found you!

I am more than pathetic in posting. Wow. Well, maybe not entirely. I do subscribe to a once a month rule and it's coming up on just a month... Anyways.

Things are . . . meh plus. What do I mean? Well, my oldest grandmother is dying. I mean, like in a matter of days or maybe hours. I am currently in transit back from Oklahoma, a state I was in for a less than 30 hours, and already know that I will be back on a plane no later than the end of the week for her funeral. So . . that stinks but at the same time is the best possible thing for my Grandma. And I've had lots of time on planes to prepare myself, gather my thoughts and while I was there, spend quality time with her and say goodbye. That's the meh.

Flash back 2 weeks ago and 2010 was looking like it was getting off to a fabulous start. We had 2 houses we were about to make an offer on. Then house #1's agent told us they were firm on the price (even though all comps indicated he was asking $25K too much), plus the loan we have doesn't allow us to put any offers on houses that are flips (the 90-day rule). So we can't put an offer on that baby till February. We're adopting a "if you love it set it free" mentality and hope that in February it's still available and the seller comes to his senses about the price. Not looking good on either front. Then house #2 accepted an offer it had pending (but for some ridiculous reason allowed us to see the house, claiming they were taking "backup" offers--no such thing exists, but whatever). So we're back to square one, but at least we know there are houses out there that we love and are looking forward to making our own in 2010. The other plus: M's Captain upgrade should now be on the fast track--his company just got word that the final legal hurdle has been cleared. Finally, my search for a new job is also going very well.

Then Grandma had a massive stroke.

So, here I sit, waiting for my flight in Denver, pretty well caught up on work, and finally with time to post. Hello time! I actually scored a bit more since I volunteered to give up my seat for a free flight (since I'm going back to Oklahoma in the very near future). So, back to uploading pics from the holidays... another item off my to-do list.

I hope your 2010 brings lots of joy and less sadness . . .

True to form

I must have some wierd timer that tells me it's been a month since my last post because here it is, 29 days since my last post and I was compelled to sign on again.

Anyways, Japan is under our belt now and MAN was that a trip. On so many levels. Flight transportation there and back was the roughest 24 hours of my life. Then throw in a 2 hour bus ride to meet my parents & brother at the Ikebukuro train station, then another 30 minutes on the train (and one missed stop and backtrack later), then a 10 minute cab ride to my Grandma's house. Needless to say, E was D-O-N-E as were M and I. It's not entirely surprising how difficult air travel was with him. What can one expect? He's a complete energy ball being forced to confinement for close to 15 hours. It SUCKED like no other. And it's not an experience I am ready to try again for at least 6-9 months. Let it be known that M and I will *not* be taking E on another flight of any kind for at least . . . ok. . . 3 months. But we are definitely not taking him on a long flight until he's . . . 2. Maybe.

The hardest part about travelling is coming home because we royally screwed up E's sleep schedule which means we are going to pay in equal parts. E doesnt sleep, we dont sleep. It's not that we don't want to or are soft and go to him every time he whimpers. He screams in the middle of the night so that one *cannot* possibly sleep. So that took about 1 week to recover from and now, 13 days after returning, he is completely back on his little schedule. And we are all better humans for that.

In other news, today is a good day because I have been reminded of all the people in my life that really care about me. Who hates that?! And I'm also super lucky to have an amazing husband who, despite his innate abilities, tries hard to give me a good birthday. This year, unfortunately, he has to work and since I had to fly home from work at midnight, we didn't see each other and won't until tomorrow. Then M has knee surgery on Thursday. So, my birthday this year won't really be a big celebration (not like it ever is, given it's cursed timing), but it's understandable. At the very least, I'm very grateful to have such a healthy and amazing kid, an awesome husband and friends who take time out of their busy lives to wish me a good one.

So, on that note--till next year! Who knows, I might actually have time over the holidays to reflect a little more (and post).

Merry Christmas, happy holidays and happy new year everyone!

A month (or year?) in review

I really should own the fact that I do not, and probably will not, devote more than 1 time per month to blog. That said... over the past month much has changed. I don't have time to post it all now, but the short version is:

We've decided to take the plunge and move to a place that is more affordable and just simply an easier place to live. Details when that's closer to finalized, which should be earlier in the new year.

In the spirit of simplifying, I am also in the process of transitioning into a position at my company that will allow me to work 100% from home (unless I'm required to be on site and travel, which will occur far less than now and will be planned at least a couple weeks in advance).

I'm working hard at living in the now, thinking in the now and therefore fulfilling my beliefs by repeatedly thinking and living in the present (and in a positive way). I'm happy about that and think it makes it easier to be a happier person overall.

Travel this fall has made keeping up with life extremely challenging... one more big trip to go. Japan over Thanksgiving to visit many many family members, see my grandfather's grave, visit my grandmother in her care facility, pay homage via a cherished ceremony and dinner with family afterwards. This trip is historical, in our family at least. It's the first time in our entire lives that all 4 of my immediate family members will travel to Japan together. It's M's 2nd trip to Japan and E's first. E is the first and *only* great grandchild in the entire Oshima lineage (and will be until my brother or I have another kid).

So it's a pretty big deal. I'm super excited for this trip (as much as M and I are bearing down for the 11+ hr flight with E) and the good times we'll have.

2009 has been eventful in many ways, but looking back the best times I'll remember are our crazy adventures as a family. Celebrating E's first birthday with our closest friends and family, watching him and his baby friends grow and develop by leaps and bounds, Labour Day in Oklahoma, Nova Scotia to visit family we hadn't seen in a decade (in some cases), Mexico--our first family vacation, and now Japan.

Here's to hoping 2010 is as joyful, full of adventure & travel and fun!

Vacation: A comparison

It's a totally normal thing to ask--"how was your vacation!?" with excitement in the voice. I hate to let people down when they ask, but to be honest? Our trip to far eastern Canada was... Hard. Challenging. Exhausting. Mixed in with a bit of family fun.

The truth of the matter is, travelling with a toddler is DAMN hard work. It's supposed to be fun and there are definitely moments when it is. But for the parents, taking the toddler out of the home, the routine, the child-proofed house and flying him 9 hours to the WAY eastern shores of Canada is... well, tough. For everyone involved (including cabin crew, fellow passengers, parents).

Were it not for the beautiful kindness of strangers, I would not have survived the return trip alone. That's right, ALONE. For various annoying reasons, M was not able to get on my flight back from Halifax, so I flew 9 hours (plus transfers) with E alone. M's been telling me his buddies at work told him I should "buck up." Um, F-you. You do not know my kid. He's the kid no one wants to travel with (serves me right for hating travelling with other people's kids all those years). He's loud, he kicks your chair, he wants to touch everything and he doesn't give a fig about TV or other forms of entertainment (except maybe in short 2 minute intervals). So 9 hours alone in a tight, confined, shared space with 150 individuals was TOUGH. We're talking constantly walking the cabin, vertical diaper changes in that tiny-ass lav and LOTS of carrying. (My back still hasn't fully recovered and occasionally spasms)

Then, landing at SFO and having to load up the Bob (stroller), carseat, my GIANT 60 lbs bag, my carry on and another unwieldy bag and drag it on AirBart and to my car and then INSTALL the damn car seat (first time) was the final straw. It nearly brought me to tears. I *almost* called our good friends to have her husband come help me install the seat.

Anyways, our vacation to Canada isnt the sort of trip I'd classify as a vacation. There were no lingering dinners over lovely and amazing food. There were no unplanned stops at wineries. There were no spa appointments or leisurely enjoying a book on the beach. I've come to realize those vacations no longer exist for me (so long as we take E with us).

We take different vacations now. The kind where I walk into our beach cottage and evaluate the risks of each sharp corner, table, brick and glass and try to mitigate potential damages by child-proofing. Barricading doors, fireplaces and dangly glass objects from the curious reach of E. Our daily activities revolve around whether E could tolerate the planned activity for any length of time. (will he jump out of the paddleboat? Would he sit in the stroller long enough to enjoy a nature walk? will he destroy the restaurant?) And meals are now eaten in shifts with one parent typically enjoying a glass of wine and apps alone while the other walks/entertains E in hopes we can all sit down for 10 minutes to enjoy an entree together.

To be honest, M is not to bothered by this. He's not a sit-around-read-a-book kinda guy. When we'd do our thrice-annual trips to Maui, he'd surf, beach comb, do anything but sit and layout with a book. So he's loving have a new little buddy to take along. And I say, more power to ya!!

Thank god I have an amazing dad for a husband. As much as it wasn't relaxing, it was such a joy to see E experience feeding bunny rabbits for the first time, walk the Nova Scotia beaches with Daddy, pick up rocks and point gleefully at the birds, go paddleboating and visit all his family in Timberlea.

As much as I miss the vacations of yesteryear, I am thrilled to experience a new kind of vacation.

Now I just need another one.

Vamos a Mexico! See ya next week!

Wow, talk about timing

A good friend just posted this quote on her blog and it could not be more timely for me...

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us"

Thanks litlflogr!