Week 51: A moment of reflection (just a moment)

It's been forever since I posted Elliott's progress by the WEEK. Geez. I can barely calculate the tip on a dinner out. But my weekly tip from parents.com tells me that Elliott turns 51 weeks today. Holy mother of pearl. What happened to the last 50 weeks? Has it really been almost a year??

As EM's baby boy is welcomed to the world, having arrived barely 36 hours ago, it reminds me of all they will be going through in the next three months. As much joy as a new parent experiences then, it's also the hardest three months of the first year in many ways. Totally been said and done, I get that. But one thing they never tell you is that the parents, as a couple, will have another hurdle to overcome at about 9-10 months when all you've been are teammates on this crazy journey (and less romantic partners). How anyone can think of concieving again in that timeframe is beyond me. After the initial relief of surviving those first 9 mos and having a baby who can sit up, hold his bottle, grab snacks, eat finger food and understand "no," one must turn to the issue of the state of the marriage.

Not that it's all bad, but you do have to try and remember what you were like before your lives, as individuals and as a couple, were forced to take second fiddle to that of your new baby. It's a necessary sacrifice ripe with rewards. But taking that time to come back to where you were is something not often talked about.

Anyways.... Week 51 is here (which reminds me that E's birthday party is just one week away, ahh!!). E makes me laugh, reminisce, get frustrated and then feel guilty about getting frustrated all on a daily basis. But you know what? I would not change a thing. I remember being one of those people who couldn't imagine my life with a kid--no more spontaneous travel all over the globe, lingering dinners with M, staying up late with no consequence, etc. But now, as every parent says, I cannot imagine my life without him. The sacrifices are not even sacrifices when I see his little face looking at me with such joy. It's a feeling I've never been able to replicate or explain other that showing you this:




How could anyone say no to that face??

Then parents.com reminded me of what I have to look forward to now that E is entering his 2nd year of life...

Up until now, chances are you were able to distract your baby from things that were off-limits--the VCR, for instance, or his older brother's Lego set--by offering alternatives. But one day soon, he may respond to an attempt to redirect him by turning bright red, falling to the floor, pounding his fists and feet as hard as he can, and screaming loud enough to rattle the windows.
Welcome to the world of the toddler tantrum. Although tantrums are disturbing, try to distance yourself by viewing them as a dramatic performance--your child is using every tool at his disposal to make his displeasure known. Unless you want the performance to repeat itself several times a day, however, don't give in to his demands. Don't spank him or yell at him--just stand there and let him scream himself out without responding. (If you're in a public place, this may be embarrassing, but it really is essential.) After a few minutes, he will calm down. Most important, he will get the message that this particular tool does not do the job, and he'll eventually drop it from his repertoire.

Oh the joy of the tantrum in public.

Moment is over.. E seriously needs his nap now. Practicing for his public tantrum