Pregnancy rant #1 and Aloha!

I. AM. FAT. And this is really bothering me. It does not matter that I "have a reason." I do not enjoy getting fatter. It does not matter that it's "for a good cause." It does not matter that it may be "water weight." None of that matters, so word to the wise, don't tell a pregnant woman that all is a-okay if (or rather when) she complains about weight gain.

I don't really know when this all happened. Before I went to Japan I was in great shape, my legs resembled their old selves, my arms weren't bad and my stomach.... well I had no hope for that. I'm not delusional. But after a week of being back home and sick, then 5 hard-core workouts before leaving for Maui (btw, Aloha!) I am still looking like a massive fat ass.

For the first time in recent recollection, I have visible cellulite on my ass and back of thighs. And speaking of my thighs, could they be any bigger? Jesus.

Needless to say, this is making me very uncomfortable in my own skin in Maui. I hate, generally, going on a beach vacation being even 5 lbs over my "comfortable" range. I am firmly OUT of that range and in whale-poaching range now.

For some pregnant women this may not be a big deal. But for someone who has spent her entire life watching what she eats (within reason of course) and working out with some regularity and intensity, this is very difficult. I am having a very. hard. time getting over this. And it's only going to get worse. I am perfectly aware of that.

Anyways, Aloha from Maui! Other than the fat factor, we are enjoying ourselves. The weather is pretty wierd today, so M just surfed a little bit and now we're chillin' at our fat hotel. We've never stayed at such a nice hotel in Maui. We've both realized, with certain clarity, that we vacation very differently than most of the people we've encountered. We generally don't:

[1] Pay more than $100 bucks a night for a hotel room. Or stay in hotels period. We always rent a condo/apartment so we can buy groceries and eat out less.
[2] Stay in our hotel room/apartment for any period of time. We sleep, wake up, eat breakfast and leave all day almost every day while we are here.
[3] Come down to Wailea for any discernible amount of time. And now we are certain we never will again. French toast is $25 bucks here at the Fairmont! f-that!
[4] Shop at the hotel grocery/convenience store for staples like water, fruit, soda. $8 bucks for Evian?!

We've just realized that we are probably considered cheapskates. But honestly, when I can spend $10 bucks on lunch for the both of us or eat on the premises for roughly 10 times that amount, who would eat here? Sure, it's easy and convenient. But [1] It makes no sense to do so and [2] spending all your time in Wailea and thinking you're actually experiencing real Maui is completely delusional.

Are we budget-travel snobs?

Don't get me wrong, this hotel is amazing. Our suite is bigger than many apartments in San Francisco and Manhattan. This hotel has a great beach onsite for which they provide beach chairs, towels, snorkeling geat and boogey boards all for free. And dudes who will bring you cocktails and food all the livelong day. But that's not really our gig, so it's just really wierd. We'd rather drive to some out-of-the-way secluded beach where we're the only ones, with our cooler and subway sandwiches and read or surf the afternoon away. Then come back to the room, shower and change and have a nice dinner out.

Anyways. Mahalo for listening to my rant(s). Despite my complaints, we are having a great time so far and looking forward to a lovely week here in paradise. :-)

Aloha

Yet again I've let my blog go. I'm not entirely certain where I went wrong this week .

Anywho.. we're off to Maui for a well-deserved Babymoon, aka the last real vacation before our baby boy arrives in September. So it'll likely be quiet on the front here unless I can snag free wi-fi in the hotel.

Have a great week!

Aloooohhaaa!

My first real complaint

Holy backpain Batman! Last night I experienced the most excruciating and debilitating back pain evar. Seriously. I don't really know why or what happened, the books just say 'backpain happens.' But I did some household chores yesterday that might have aggravated it. I dunno. All I know is that last night as M and I were laying down to watch a movie, each time I coughed, my back would spasm and send shooting pains throughout my lower back.

It was then I thought, "god, I don't know how anyone could go at this alone." M got me a heating pad and helped me roll over so I could apply it, got me something to wash down the Tylenol, etc etc. I was helpless.

So, I am officially logging my first real complaint--back pain in pregnancy SUCKS. I just hope to GAWD that I don't experience back labor, which I've heard is way worse than regular labor pains.

I am doing much better today but decided to forego my Saturday morning weight training class. Seeing as how I was having trouble standing up to get to the toilet last night, it didn't seem like a good idea.

Happy Saturday!

Baby update and pictures: 18-19 weeks

Well, last Monday was my 18-week appointment and if you've been pregnant or know about this kind of thing, it's a big deal because if you want to, you get to find out the sex of your baby. This is VERY exciting news because up until this point most women haven't felt any fetal movement, haven't gained much weight, etc. So you may not feel all that pregnant until you find out the sex of the baby, which of course we did. IT'S A BOY!!

Here's what he's looking like now:

The thing by his mouth looks like a foot/hand but it's actually his umbilical cord (see, there's no bone in there).

The above shot is proof of his, er, status... it's basically a shot from the butt up. There's a leg on the left, his thing and then a bit of his other leg there. Like I said, this may be inappropriate to send to the world, but c'est va.

It was really amazing for M to be there for this ultrasound because he missed the 13-week one, so he hadn't seen the baby since the 8-week ultrasound and he was literally the size of a kidney bean back then. So M and I were so excited to see him. And, not to brag, our son did not disappoint. He put on quite a show in the beginning with his acrobatics, his punching and kicking, and moving all around. After about 20 minutes, he started to calm down and decided he was done cooperating. Thankfully we had already found out the sex, because he decided to curl up and take a little nap. Despite the tech's insistent pushing and jiggling my belly to get him to move and lay straighter for his measurements, he was insistent on sleeping.

Since the ultrasound, I've been wondering when I'd feel him move. Even though "they" say not to compare yourself to other women, everyone does. And all of my currently-pregnant friends had either felt movement by now or are publicly showing. I was neither, so I kept on pushing and prodding him each night hoping he'd kick me back. Well, at 3am the other night, he finally did. YEAH!! I got one swift kick in the side. Not too much since then. I tried to get him to kick me again last night and I think I got a small tap with his elbow or hand, but I'm not certain.

I'm still not really showing, my belly is the opposite of my friend's bellies right now, even though 99% of us are having boys. They all have little beach-ball bellies that stick straight out and are cute. Mine is still more of a pitcher's mound, just rises slightly and you can't really see it in my clothes. I actually look more pregnant after a meal because the top part of my belly (which seems like my regular stomach now that my uterus has grown all the way up to my belly button) rounds out more.

But finally one person did ask me, politely and in a roundabout way, if I am pregnant. So cute, she said, "Um, so do you have any news for us?" Clearly she knew. But I was happy to hear that she didn't think I just gained weight. She knows I run (or used to) and am conscious about what I eat/do as she is. So when her co-worker said, "well maybe she's just gaining weight." SP said, "nope, not LG, she doesn't do that." YEAH!! I love you SP.

When all is said and done, I'm really happy with how this pregnancy is progressing. Although I was concerned with my small size, my midwife has assured me that baby boy Dixon is right where he should be size-wise and his health couldn't be better. I've gained 10 lbs so far, and given that I'm 19 weeks now (almost halfway there) I am pleased, if not disconcerted at times to get on the scale.

Here's to hoping that I've only got another 15 lbs to go! Even if he gains 6 or 7 lbs, I'm hoping that'll do it.

Japan, again

In other news, the Japan trip....

Overall it went well, albeit short--4 days. I arrived in Tokyo Friday and after a 1-hr train ride from the airport on the Keisei line, I met my parents at the Nippori train station for the 45-minute ride back to my grandma's house. (she now lives at the care facility nearby, so her house is our home in Tokyo now).

The funeral on Saturday went as well as expected. It's quite strange to attend a funeral spoken entirely in Japanese and run by a monk rather than a pastor/priest/etc. But at least I wasn't the only one who couldn't totally understand what was being said, my dad was there too. But the monk did say one thing that I felt was particularly true in our case, that a funeral, while sad, is a time for the family to gather and remember but also to remind each other how we can help each other in life and not just in death. (rough translation) For the Oshima family, this is particularly pertinent because my grandmother and my uncle hadn't been on speaking terms for years until after my aunt died last Fall (they now are, mostly because she's forgotten what they were fighting about). Similarly my aunt and my uncle hadn't spoken in many many years and in fact didn't reconcile before her death. So it was really sad for me to see my uncle wipe his eyes at the service and be reminded of how deep his regret must be.

But I'm really glad I went. Not only did I get to see my uncle, who I hadn't seen since I was about 6 at his wedding, and my cousin (his daughter) who I hadn't seen since she visited us last in the States about 16 years ago, I got to see my grandma again in her new care facility and see how happy and well she is doing there. Dementia is a crazy thing, she's totally healthy otherwise, but she just thinks she's still running the show. A few weeks ago she was helping the staff prepare meals for the other residents and after a couple days of doing this she told my mom "I am wondering when I am going to get paid?" hee hee! Then, she told my mom recently that she really likes this place and can't believe it's only 100Y a day (about $1 USD), although she doesn't know why she hasn't seen a bill yet. ha!

It's really funny... I just try not to think about the good memories she can't recall anymore because she still remembers me, my mom and my dad. For now. She's thrilled to become a great-grandmother, the first in her family. And I'm excited at the prospect of taking our son to meet his Japanese great-grandmother sometime next year.

My mom was so funny during the trip too. During my short stay, we took one day to do some touring we hadn't done before. We visited Ueno Park (a Central Park-like place in the middle of Tokyo), went to the Tokyo National Museum and went to Ame-yoko, which is an outdoor market that has everything from food, knock-off designer bags and shoes, groceries, pharmacy to old PX stuff from way back when. (It actually started as a place to get American goods during the war). My mom kept saying, "i cant wait to bring the grandson here... and here...and here..." (fill in with Tokyo Disneyland, Ueno Zoo to see the famous panda exhibit, etc). It was really cute actually.

After a day of touring we met up with BT and her husband, who had arrived in Tokyo just the night before. It was really cool to see them in Tokyo actually. We met at the top of the Park Hyatt in the bar featured in the film Lost in Translation. Although the views were *killer* the drinks were l-a-m-e and expensive and took FOREVER to get. There had to be maybe 5 other patrons in the bar when I ordered my drink. However our waiter failed to bring my drink or even WATER to the table until BT and E ordered their second round. And when my virgin-drink got there it was about 98% ice chips and 2% liquid. For 1300Y (13 bucks). Sorry, but I'm not willing to pay for that tourist attraction again. Puh-leeze.

Thankfully we were able to locate where the *cheaper* food is in the Park Tower (down in the basement, like it is in most tall buildings in Tokyo). We were so lucky to have my mom there because all of the signs in English indicated that the only food in the Park Tower was above the 41st floor (the bar we were in was on the 52nd). My mom found a building attendant and asked them where the food was (we read in my book there is tons of food here but couldnt find it) and they directed us to the one elevator that goes down. All the rest go from Floor 2 (entry) straight up to Floor 41 (where check-in is for the Park Hyatt). BT cleverly pointed out that if you only spoke English, you'd be spending roughly 3xs the price of dinner because there's no way to know the cheaper food is downstairs! In retrospect, our round of drinks on the 52nd Floor were more expensive than our dinner for 5 down in the basement. Huh.

Anyways, dinner was lovely and yummy--fresh, handmade Udon and beef over rice served with hot tea and a lovely mucas-fest by yours truly. I felt bad for BT/E and my folks for having to put up with a sick person at their dinner table. I'm sure i wasn't pleasant company and I kept having to leave the table to blow my nose. ICK. Although BT made me feel a little better by noting that out of everyone, that kind of grossness would really bother me the most, so it's a good thing it was me who was sick. Touche!

Alas, I was supposed to leave on Tuesday, but after a restless night with no sleep, despite the Japanese decongestant I took and about 5 mini-boxes of kleenex, I woke up feeling worse and decided to call it. My mom called the airlines and changed my listing to leave that night and we packed it up and headed out for a visit with my grandma. Thank goodness her care facility is close to her old house. It was a short walk and bus ride away, so I was able to drag my sick ass down there for a nice visit with her.

I can't believe I spent roughly a long weekend in Tokyo. It's such a funny contradiction to BT/E's trip. They have been planning this for 18 months and looking forward to it for weeks. I planned my trip about a week before. Granted, I don't have to book hotels, worry about getting around with the language barrier or even think about how to get where I'm going from the airport. I've done it now twice in 6 months and we'll likely go again next year with our son. It occurred to me on the train home from dinner with BT & E that my experience in Japan will never be what theirs is. I'll never stay in a hotel in Tokyo. I'll never eat 3 meals out a day there. I'll never really be a tourist in Tokyo. Maybe in Kyoto (kinda, because last time my mom made all our reservations over the phone for us the night before and figured out our train schedule). It's kinda cool actually. It feels like going to Japan is not a big deal anymore, it's not a o-mi-god, we-have-to-plan-forever-in-advance thing anymore. We just get a buddy pass on United from a friend, hop on a plane and bam 11 hours later we're there.

Anyways, you're officially caught up! I'll be posting recent baby and belly pics soon, so stay tuned!

Holy lateness Batman!

I was thinking last night that it's been some time since I blogged, but wow, almost 18 days?! Geez. So I looked at my calendar to see what the hell I've been up to and it has been rather busy. The first week of April was crazy at work and I've been trying hard to keep up with the workouts. The second week of April started off with my 18-week ultrasound, which many (if not all) of you know resulted in us finding out the sex of our child. It's a boy!!

I think the only electronic/personal announcing I did that week was via email with the picture of him and his little thing. Which no one could see or identify. In retrospect this is a good thing because when is it *ever* appropriate to send a picture of your child's sex parts to all of your friends and family?! But people thought the profile shot of him was good, so that's all fine.

The day of the ultrasound my parents came down to spend the night with us before they flew out to Japan because last Saturday was my aunt's funeral. So they were here and then 2 days later I flew out to Japan myself to attend the funeral. Needless to say, that's all kept me away from the blogging world.

Throw in that the fact that I got sick the day after the funeral (it really reared its ugly head during dinner in Tokyo with BT, her husband and my parents) and the fact that I flew home the next day (Monday) after waking up in my grandma's house feeling like ass.... and here ya go.

Apparently when you're pregnant your immune system is depressed. So, recovering from a common cold actually takes a whole lot longer than normal. But dang, I've been sick since last Sunday (Japan) which is last Saturday here and we're now approaching the 7-day mark. I went to the doctor yesterday to try to get an inhaler to help with my "loud, dry barking cough" (doc's own words) and he just said "oh you'll be fine. Just take a throat lozenge. Even though Albuterol has no known effect on a baby in utero, we don't like to give pregnant mothers drugs if we don't have to."

Easy for you to say bud. Tell that to my baby who experiences what must feel like an earthquake and an ear-piercing barking cough every three hours throughout the night. Or my husband who is lucky enough to be able to fall asleep after I wake up the whole house each night. Or ME!! who can't get enough sleep to actually recover from this stupid cold. Doctors. Humph. What do they know?