Monday, May 11, 2009

Working moms... that phrase should be separated

into two separate nouns/jobs. I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to "work" and be a "mom." For the past couple months, but even more so in the last 2 weeks, I've become bogged down by the stress of trying to gear up for my busiest work season, return from our psuedo-vacation, and be a mom/wife/house manager.

Really, I need a personal assistant/housecleaner/errand runner to help manage the Dixon household these days. If I could, I would pay this person a pretty penny.

OR, stay home myself.

Seriously, I never thought I would ever consider being a "stay at home mom," but these days--I'm feeling like that job and job title are not entirely fair. Admittedly, some stay at home moms get to shop, have nannies, housecleaners, car washers, errand runners and personal trainers. However, in my case that would mean I would continue to do all the stuff I already do (manage the household finances, grocery shop, cook, clean, fire up the troops for household cleaning, manage the pets, vacation/social scheduling, manage correspondence with family/friends/outside world and TRY to work out) and also add on the *huge* job of taking care of E. In return, I'd get to let go of my full-time work responsibilities (ahh, Calgon, take me away!!!) and feel better about doing a better job on both fronts. My (former) clients would get a rep who'd take as good (or better) care of them than I currently can and my son would get a mom who is actually present mentally, emotionally and physically when with him.

The biggest problem with this plan, as with all others that sound too good to be true, is that it is. We simply cannot afford for me not to work right now.

And so the struggle continues.....

Until then, we are conducting a MAJOR overhaul of the Dixon household--leaving no stone uncovered. Every nook, cranny, bill, duty, thought, to-do, expense item, income item, etc will be making its way into a spreadsheet for analysis on how to simplify our lives. There is simply not enough time for us to continue on with life status quo. For the time being, TV and the NY Times on weekends has been cut. What else must go... remains to be seen.

Advice solicited and welcome.

2 comments:

Biting Tongue said...

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably avoid trying to address everything in my life at the same time for fear of being overwhelmed.

I'd probably try to figure out what the biggest time-sucker that annoyed me was, and how to limit or eliminate it. Then I'd take on the next one, and so-on, until I felt like I had a little more sustainable control, at which point I would go for a more wholistic approach.

But, that's just what I would do, and time management, like money management, is very personal. The reality that we don't have as much as we wish (or, in some cases believe) we do is an ugly one.

Resource allocation in the face of scarcity is not exactly a solved problem... So, good luck. Know that you are not alone!

-bt

Anonymous said...

well, if we're being honest, the biggest time sucker is E, so clearly getting rid of him is not an option :-) but we are eliminating and/or trimming down things that are non-essential time suckers.
And although some would argue that blogging is a waste of time/time sucker, every time i come back to it, i feel like it's a creative/cognitive release. so i like having it back.
Thanks for the thoughts!