TGIF for more reasons than one!

First of all, hallelujah it's finally cooler! Man, a whole week of puffy feet, ankles, fingers and toes was miserable enough with the oppressive heat. I thought I was going to finally have to remove my wedding rings until baby D's birth. But alas, I am returning to a normal state of puff, which is better than it has been in days.

Second, yay! It's friday which means I dont have to feel bad about being lazy for 3 more days. Although this weekend is socially much more busy than the last two weekends, I still want to sleep in and hang out with M and be lazy.

Speaking of being lazy... geez, I have totally fallen off the motivation train for work. I just don't give a crap these days about inane little things I should be doing. And I should care because any work I put in now will help (possibly) ensure that my commission come year-end will be better. But it's hard to search the well for motivation when the well is close to dry.

I find myself looking forward to maternity leave more and more with each day. In fact, the other day I was contemplating what it would be like if I didn't have to go back to work at all. Would I be happy to be a stay at home mom only? (I know, I know, it's a full time job blah blah blah... I mean would I be happy doing no 'regular' job for a paycheck) If I could stay home, what would I do with myself in the down time (baby naps, whatever other down time there is when you are taking care of a child)? And would I continue to outsource some of the home jobs? (housecleaning)

On the other hand, I've been contemplating going back to work in another capacity, one that uses my legal background and experience more. Sometimes I feel like I actually miss practicing law to some extent. I miss the vigor of searching for an answer to a client's question and finding it. I miss the sometimes-feeling that I'm doing something that matters to a client. Much of that value and intellectual drive is missing in my current job (not to mention that I'm not paid nearly what I believe I'm worth). But on the flip side, do I want to give up working from home 100% of the time and managing my own schedule? Do I want to have to put my baby in day care full time (no!)?

So, I'm definitely waffling on this whole work thing. But realistically, at the end of the day, I have to go back to some kind of work around the end of this year/January 2009 because we's all gotz bills to pay. But sometimes I wonder... if M upgraded to Captain before my leave was up and I had the option to stay home, would I? And if I didn't, would I go back to my current job or try to find something that [1] continues to let me work from home most of the time or [2] allows me to use my legal background/experience more OR ideally [3] BOTH!

Huh . . . dunno.