11 weeks and counting (me and the fig-sized baby)

Someone asked me recently if I'm getting a baby bump. I said "no." But the more I look at it, the more I think I should be saying "kinda." I thought my belly just looked kinda bloated because it's nighttime and I'm always more bloated in the evenings, even normally. But when I wasn't pregnant, I could suck in my belly and go back to relatively-flat (for me, keep in mind).


Now when I suck in my belly, even as hard as I can, there is still a noticeable bump. So, yeah, I guess I do have a bit of a baby bump, even this early.

I told my boss today that I am pregnant, almost 3 mos (on Friday). And she was shocked, she said she couldn't even tell. So that's great. But before I get a big head about it, I haven't seen her since the holiday party in December, so it might just be because she hasn't seen me in awhile. I am going to see M this weekend in Miami and will try to get him to tell me the truth--is there a bump or isn't there?!


One thing's for sure--I am definitely not in my normal clothes anymore. I stopped even trying to use the Rock Star Mama pants adjuster as of late. Last time I wore it to dinner, I couldnt wait to get home and rip my pants off. So I figured it was time to move on. Sadly. I probably could get away with wearing my old pants longer. But it's like, why bother? I'd rather be comfortable and be wearing clothes that actually fit rather than living under the delusion that I can continue to wear my old pre-pregnancy clothes well into my second trimester, like so many women I've heard of. (skinny bitches:-)


So I've acquired some new cute clothes lately. I bought a cute pair of Citizen Maternity jeans and Seven Maternity capris from a girl on Craigslist, inherited a pair of Seven Maternity (and 2 other pairs of old navy jeans), and got a super cute dress I could definitely wear to at least 2 of the summer weddings we have coming up. Oddly, packing for my Miami trip was easy because I'm so limited in what I have that fits, I just packed what I have and what I recently bought. Done!

So far, 11 weeks of pregnancy have gone well. I've been able to hear the baby's heartbeat on our Doppler on a regular basis, so that's a nice relief. And I have another ultrasound on Monday (with BT) so we'll get to see the baby at 12 weeks. Woo hoo! I've been told this will be a super cool ultrasound, so I'm really excited.

On another note: my folks were here visiting last weekend (since M is gone for a month). It was surprisingly pleasant! We got to catch up about the baby and my progress, I got to hear about my mom's pregnancies and easy labor and deliveries with me and my brother (both of us were early by almost 2 weeks and her labor was short and sweet, YEAH!), and I was able to get the baby's heartbeat so they could hear it. Very cool.

I can tell they are excited. They are already planning what they won't be doing in September (going anywhere on vacation) so they can be here when the baby is born. And my mom has already told me to reserve a baby-shopping trip for her. It's so odd!! But also oddly nice. I think BT was on to something when she told me the story of her mom and her grandmother's relationship changing dramatically when BT was born. Good stuff.

More at Week 12!

I'm goin' to Miami.. bienvenidos a Miami

I have been mighty lame about posting this week. Perhaps it's because I've been sick since Sunday. When you're sick, it's pretty much the same from day to day--sneeze, cough, flem. Sudafed, Kleenex and Mucinex. Nothin' anyone wants to read about, right? Or just plain ole lazy. Probably a combo of both. But maybe after a weekend visiting M in Miami I'll have more to blog about.

Even though I'm going to Miami (apparently folks think this is a cool destination) we don't have much planned. I'm totally planning to just hang out with M, see The Other Boleyn Girl, read, sleep in and eat out. It's going to be fabulous. I can't wait to see him! M desperately needs a mental break from training and physical removal from his extended-stay hotel prison. I know the feeling, it sounds a lot like studying for the bar. The pressure is enormous and the training materials are [1] organized so poorly because it's a start up airline and they haven't yet created their own training program so they are relying on Airbus' and [2] translated from French. And not well. So it's been rough for him.

I've got us booked in a nice room in the Grove (Coconut Grove). I don't know what the hell is going on in Miami this weekend, but a hotel anywhere near the beach was outrageous and/or completely booked, even in North Miami Beach continuing all the way up to Fort Lauderdale (we're talking $500/night for the cheap rooms). So I opted for the Grove. It's like Burlingame but tropical. Cute restaurants, bars, boutique shops and rich people. But they hang in South Beach too (which I loathe), so I'm glad not to be in that scene. Plus it's supposed to be cooler than normal and a chance of scattered showers, so I think we'll be happy we opted for the nicer, somewhat-inland hotel rather than the sketchy beachfront hotel.

So, have a wonderful weekend here! I hear it's going to rain pretty good. But I don't feel sorry for y'all staying here at home for two reasons: [1] We've had awesome weather here the past few days, even in the City and [2] Over the gorgeous holiday weekend we had a couple weeks ago when you all were having romantic weekends with your SO's, I was flyin' solo (it was a total "couples getaway-post-Valentine's-day-long weekend" holiday.)

Cheers! Perhaps more from Miami.... or at least upon my return.

A new reason to shop

Ever since I left the practice, I've become quite an infrequent shopper. I've even stopped (gasp) shopping in stores unless it's required! I pretty much do all of my clothes and shoe shopping online now. Until recently, I've had no reason to buy anything. I have everything I need and since we were in pay-off-debt mode, I really didn't have a reason to spend money.

Now I do. Getting fatter creates a whole new need of new clothes and it's not that bad! I forgot that I like to shop! Albeit, still online, but dude. Maternity clothes have gotten a whole lot cuter, that's fo sho.

Some of my favorite bargain spots: babycenter.org (they have great brands like Japanese Weekend and Olian for much less than the actual retailer), oldnavy.com (surprisingly cute and inexpensive) craigslist for designer jeans (hello! Paige, Citizens and Sevens used!). I just found out about this new thing, Maternity Xchange. I haven't been, but I am excited to checking it out! One of the big reasons is they speak my language, "Because You're Losing Your Waist, Not Your Taste!" That's right sister!


So ladies, fear not, you don't have to look like your mom when she was pregnant with you. Bonus for you: I will be the guinea pig this time around, and hopefully you'll see me fuller but not frumpier.


Happy shopping!

*RANT WARNING* ....I hate being micromanaged

At least once per quarter my boss pisses me the fuck off. Today is that day. Despite my undeniably good performance in 2007, Boss still feels the need to stick it to me regarding some stupid-ass meeting regarding 2007 performance. (which by the way I've never had to do in person with my former boss, we did it over the phone.) Boss is a working parent so I know s/he is trying to make the schedule work for him/her and their family. I get that. But I'm trying to make mine work for me as well. So when Boss puts unreasonable demands on my time for nothing else than personal efficiency, it really chaps my ass.

I was told over email today that Boss is DEMANDING in-person meetings in the office next week between timeslot A and timeslot B. Of course I already have client appointments during 90% of the times that Boss has alotted (although s/he was careful to be out of the office by 2pm to get home for the kids, no doubt). I was trying to coordinate and see if we could meet in the middle on one of the remaining timeframes that works to make it work for both of us.

NOPE. Just like the control freak Boss is once per quarter, s/he DEMANDED that I be in the office at a particular time because of the "importance of this meeting." It's so important that Boss can't change his/her schedule at all, even though Boss rarely meets with clients personally (which is why I can't meet with Boss any other time). I have to adjust my schedule with clients to meet with Boss's schedule.

I'm fucking pissed. This is why I left firms. Because I hated my time being micromanaged by asshole partners in Big Law who felt that their time was more important than mine even though i was doing their client's work.

ARG.

Easy yummy dinner

These days I am cooking for one, so I'm going for easy and fast (yet healthy and yummy). Sometimes a tough combo because I tend to be very lazy in the cooking department when M isn't around.

I found this little gem of a soup, so I thought I'd share. Highly recommend it. The ingredients are ones I always have on hand (as do most cooks regardless of your skill level) and it's super fast and yummy! I added chicken that I boiled with the pasta for a protein element (although the egg is protein as well):

Spinach & Egg-drop Pasta Soup

1/2 pound tubetti, ditali or other small pasta
2-3 quarts chicken stock
4-6 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
5 ounces baby spinach (basically 3-4 large handfuls)
Salt and freshly ground pepper
4 large eggs, beaten
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, plus more for serving
Extra-virgin olive oil and lemon wedges, for drizzling

Cook the pasta in a pot of boiling salted water until al dente. Drain well.

In a saucepan, bring the stock to a simmer with the garlic; simmer for 3 minutes. Add the pasta and spinach and cook over moderate heat until the spinach wilts. Season with salt and pepper. Gently stir in the eggs, breaking them into long strands. Gently simmer the soup until the eggs are just firm, about 1 minute. Stir in the 1/2 cup of cheese. Ladle the soup into bowls, drizzle with olive oil and serve, passing lemon wedges and more cheese on the side.

*I skipped the lemon wedges part, but I do think it'd be a great addition

Courtesy of:
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/spinach-and-egg-drop-pasta-soup

Sorry... must.. toot.. own..horn

I'm amazed at some information I've just learned today.. it's about me and my work, so it's not earth-shattering or even very important in the grand scheme of things. But....

Early last Fall the Company I work for announced an end-of-the-year incentive program. If you increase your numbers in Q4, you'd get a bonus. (small, but still extra cash). I didn't mean to make it. I didn't even try hard. I just did what I normally do. For some reason, I was very lucky and my territory blew the s**t out of the WATER in Q4. Not only did I meet the 2% increase they wanted... I increased my territory's sales numbers by 51% in Q4. In fact, from Oct-December my territory went from 119% of goal to 170% of goal. Damn. DUDE! I cannot believe that. Most folks were in/around the 2-14% range. In fact my closest competitor was at 4%. Wow.

When I looked at the little excel sheet they sent today, there is not a single person in my market area that came CLOSE to that. (although some poor person decreased their sales numbers by 26% in Q4.

I hate to brag and normally I would tell just M. But he's in sim and I barely get 5 mins a day to talk to him.... so I'm bragging to y'all. Sorry!

I hope you all had as fabulous a day as me. I had a presentation that went AWESOME and then got the good news that my teeny tiny bonus is FINALLY going to be here because of this nugget of info. So cheers! Have a great week!

Cutie pies

Arvay's postings of Autumn and her bunnies have inspired me to post a couple of my favorite pics of my/our kitties--Sadie and Guinness.

Befitting of their personalities, they sleep together in the afternoons like yin and yang:

Have you ever seen anything so cute? They are hugging each other while they sleep. They always clean each other around nap time too. It's absolutely heartmelting :-)

Guinness, my evil genius is constantly getting into stuff. He's completely insane and for some inexplicable reason, he loves to lay in, on and around our clothes whether they're clean or dirty. He also loves to be under any sort of cover. He *thinks* he's hiding and that he's magically become invisible. It's so hilarious. Example? Here's Guinness sleeping in my camping overalls one afternoon:

And my sweet Sadie girl. She's exactly what a girl cat named Sadie should be like. A lover, a mama's girl and always innocently watching her brother get in trouble. She and Guinness normally sleep together in the afternoons, but this particular day she got the green bed to herself (which is a rarity in this house. Guinness is always where she is or where there is *any* action in the house). Here's my sweet Sadie pie:

Thanks for indulging me! These are my babies until Baby Dixon arrives. But make no mistake, they will still get tons of love!

Week 10: Making it over another hurdle!

So, week 10 is now upon us and again I'm feeling really anxious. 2 weeks takes such a long time while at the same time going really fast. It's very wierd.


This week's appointment was another milestone because we would be able to hear the heartbeat this time. I use "we " liberally here though because sadly M could not be there. Since starting his new job, we've known that he would have to do simulator training on his new plane in Miami for a month. However we didn't know it would coincide with the 10 week appointment and that he'd have to miss hearing the heartbeat for the first time.

Luckily I have an amazing friend in BT and when I asked her to come with me to this 10-week appointment, she said "Of course. It'd be my honor." I know this is a strain on her because of her demanding job, her training and her committment to her husband. But I'm glad she could come because if anything (god forbid) went wrong like it did last time, I don't think I could handle it on my own.

So, on Friday Feb 15th, BT and I trekked on down to the dr's office. After about a gazillion medical history questions (Thanks BT for helping me remember whether I had specific vaccinations or not!) it was time for the gel and Doppler. Melissa, my Nurse Practitioner/Midwife, did her standard speech. I know now that it's standard because it's exactly what she said to me and M last time we tried to get a heartbeat. I mean, it was practically verbatim. So I was instantly filled with a sense of dread. Even though we saw the heartbeat 2 weeks ago.... I just couldn't be sure.

THANKFULLY Melissa found the heartbeat in less than a minute. And o mi god, what a sweet sound that was. BT came to my side and held my hand, tears in both our eyes. Even though my baby daddy couldn't be there, I was so grateful that BT was. Later, BT thanked me for letting her be there. After all, not often in one's life does a hospital visit result in a positive experience.

I immediately emailed M (who was in the sim at the time) the good news and called the 2 other people who knew about this baby. And now I'm feeling more confident in this baby's survival. And although nothing is guarantee, I wanted to tell my good friend at lunch that day. She was one of the few who knew I miscarried last time and was very supportive, so I thought that no matter what happens, I know she will be there for me. I'm itching to tell more people now, but I know that niether M nor I want to take any unnecessary risks right now. We're superstitious, suspicious and generally weary of spreading the news. At the same time, we both want to share our happiness! So it's a wierd place to be in. I find myself wanting to blog about this because, as you would expect, this is a huge thing in our lives right now! But at the same time, I can't go public for another 2 weeks.

So, I've decided to blog and save drafts until the second trimester is here. Which might help explain why I've had a bit of radio silence at times during the last month and why there's a flurry of blogs all at once in the beginning of March!

For ease of use for readers, all the pregnancy blogs are labeled, so if you're only interested in catching up on those (or not interested in reading them at all), you can just filter them.

Oh, here's an update on what Baby Dixon's size is like now:

As crazy as it seems with the baby's teeny size, it is able to swallow fluid and kick. Vital organs — including kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver— are in place and starting to function. The baby's limbs can bend now. The hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over the heart, and the feet may be long enough to meet in front of the body. From crown to rump, the baby is about 1 1/4 inches long. (Source: babycenter.org) Hopefully this doesn't gross anyone out, but it helps to get a better visual of what the baby might look like:

Week 8

We've now known I am pregnant for about 4 weeks and have been anxiously awaiting the 8-week ultrasound on Friday, Feb 1st. It's oddly fitting that my 8-week appointment is on a Friday at the beginning of a new month. There's something both really me about that and really nice. Me, because I like things to be clean and simple. 8 week appointment where we will find out if we have a heartbeat on a Friday and the first of the month is so perfect. It's also really cool that this baby is basically following the calendar year and will be born in the 9th month of this year. And really nice because it feels like a fresh start. After losing our first baby, we are both trying to look at this pregnancy as a clean slate. Just because we had such a horrible experience the first time, it does not mean we will this time. We are trying hard to remember that each step of the way and each week.

Anyways, we waited with bated breath for the Friday appointment. I had an inkling that we would get good news because I had been feeling the symptoms all week. Kinda nauseated, food aversions and breast tenderness. But not too much, so I also felt a bit of doubt. Honestly though, I couldn't let M know that I felt any doubt at all because he was *so* skeptical and trying hard not to get too attached to this baby.

The appointment itself was pretty difficult for both of us because it was the same ultrasound place, the same parking garage (M *insisted* on parking on the other side of the garage this time) and the same technician. She, of course, didn't know she was the technician who delivered our bad news last time (until I told her at the end of the appointment). But the whole thing was just a little too familiar. So we were feeling pretty nervous.

Luckily though, as you all know now, we got a heartbeat! Once she pointed out the heartbeat, M, who seemingly had not taken or released a breath since she put the wand and gel on my stomach, actually took a big breath and color returned to his face. He was SO RELIEVED. I was thrilled. A HEARTBEAT! We at least made it over this first hurdle.

The baby was a teeny little thing, about 1 cm long, basically the size of a kidney bean. Behold... the size our baby at 8 weeks:

For size comparison, here is an actual kidney bean:

Drum roll please......

After a long hiatus, I am happy to announce that M & I are expecting!

When I started this blog, it was an outlet for me to discuss my experiences during my first pregnancy. And after that pregnancy was unexpectedly cut short, I blogged about life after and many other things. Then the blog became public knowledge, which is great, but meant that I couldn't blog about my experiences during this pregnancy yet. So, for 3 months I've had to keep my big mouth shut about this pregnancy until M and I felt comfortable going public. It's so nice to finally be out!

I'm glad to report that I am almost past my first trimester, due in early September. And although I am not, and will never be until the baby is born, out of the woods completely, we are both excited to have seen the heartbeat on our first ultrasound a month ago and to have heard the heartbeat quite a few times on our Doppler since then.

Because these questions will inevitably come up... here are the facts:

• I am 13 weeks along, starting my second trimester soon.


• I am due September 7, 2008
  
• We don't know the sex of the baby yet, won't until about 18-20 weeks, but yes we are planning to find out.


• I'm extremely happy that I haven't gained too much weight, just 4 lbs. So if you see me anytime soon, I'll just look fatter, but not exactly pregnant.


• I feel great. I had a couple of weeks in the first trimester when I felt a little queasy and definitely have more food aversions (no real cravings), but I've been feeling fantastic since about week 9.

With M in Miami for a month for training for Virgin America (a HUGE bummer), my appointment buddy has been BT. I'm so grateful for her support and willingness to make these appointments even though she's a second-year associate at Big Law and very busy. Not to mention she lives about 25 miles from my gyno. Thanks BT for always being there! I am so blessed to have you by my side.

Kabul Beauty School

I just noticed that I am reading lots of memoirs based on authors' experiences in the Middle East as of late. Hm. In choosing my next book I looked at books I have on hand: Reading Lolita in Tehran, Three Cups of Tea; books I have recently read: Thousand Splendid Suns, Kabul Beauty School. I don't really know what my fascination is with the Middle East and memoirs right now. But I'm planning to take a break and read an actual novel next. Anywho...

I enjoyed this book, although it wasn't exactly what I hoped for. I read about this book and heard it was wonderful--about a hairdresser from Michigan who, post-divorce/semi-mid-life crisis, decides she wants to move to Afghanistan and help Afghan women become more self-sufficient or at least garner skills valuable in their culture (to women at least). She starts small--gathering donations of product and supplies and finally has enough to start a beauty school but finds she has no way to ship them there. (we're talking a full shipping container of stuff). Long story short, she spearheads an operation already underway with an American NGO on the same cause and ends up loving Afghanistan.

This book was more a collection of her stories from her 5 years in Afghanistan and provide real insight into the experience of Afghan women there. For that, I thought it was lovely and valuable. I guess I just hoped that it would be more novel-like with flow and chapters and stuff. Not so much. But I realize that might have been too high of a bar for a memoir.

Overall, I did enjoy this book and it was a quick read. I'd recommend it just for the experiences of the author and the women whose lives she undoubtedly touched and changed. As well as the lives of her Afghan husband and her two sons.

Amagansett

I finished reading this one before leaving for the sales meeting. Some quick thoughts:

If you are familiar with the East Coast, particularly NY, Long Island and the Hampton area, as well as with some general maritime happenings (fishing towns, sailing terms like 'port' and 'starbird') this book is probably a lot more fun to read. I am not familiar with any of those things having grown up for the most part in the Valley of Northern California. My exposure to anything maritime comes directly from M and even then I can't remember what 'port-side' means. Left or right?

It's a quick read, the cover says it's a haunting love story and thriller. I wouldn't say it was haunting or thrilling. It's basically a murder mystery and love story in which the victim is the lover of one of the fisherman in town. She’s a Manhattanite from a wealthy family who has a house in the Hamptons, so her affair with the local fisherman takes some time to reveal itself. I suppose some of the things were dramatic, but I wouldn’t say it was particularly original. The pieces of the puzzle are hinted at throughout the book. In fact, the author kind of assumes that you paid close enough attention throughout the book that he doesn't even give you a straight ending. If you read the first 3 chapters and go to the last chapter to see whodunit, you wouldn't get it.

I dunno. A friend recommended this book, but not too highly, so I take it with a grain of salt. It was a good book for between heavy books I think. So if you're looking for something like that, then by all means, go for it.

Good to be home

After 3 brutal days of rah-rah at our annual Sales Meeting, it is very good to be home. I was lamenting the fact that I even have to go (as I do every year) to R on the way and she made a good point... Even though I despise the kool-aid sessions non-stop and the forced fun, many people actually like it and think companies should do this kind of stuff. They actually find it motivational. Me? NOT. AT. ALL. I would rather they spend the millions allocated to the Sales Meeting and give me a big fat raise. That would motivate me. The only highlights were: [1] Being called up to accept the sales award (among many others) for "excellence" this year. [2] Bitch sessions during which we "strategized" about what improvements could be made to our team in 2008 to make us "more effective, efficient and collaborative." It was good for the higher-ups to hear what actually goes on at ground zero and luckily we have a VP for our Divison who actually gives a shit, is a hard-working woman and has already taken steps to improve the teams. For once, I've seen a VP who actually works harder than her sales force, so I can respect her position and her pundit-like talk.

I feel really bad, but I wasn't too excited about winning the trip this year. This year's trip (for adults) is Maui. The trip for families is Disneyland (in Orlando in JULY no less--I would rather DIE than go to Orlando anytime or in July). I literally had to be the least excited person up on that stage (most were crying in jubilation and clapping MADLY), and admittedly non-chalant, about winning the award this year. Yes, it's cool and yes, I like the fact that the company recognizes hard work. But Maui? Dude, I have seriously been there at least 10 times. Granted, I haven't stayed at the Fairmont for a week. (nor would M or I ever spend that kind of cash to do so). But still.

Next year's trip is to Ireland, last year's trip was to Monaco--both of which I would have preferred to Maui. But I should be grateful that they're doing anything at all! I know, I'm a terrible bitch for being so lame. Everyone kept coming up and congratulating me. Asking me, "what did your husband say when you told him you won the trip?!?!" And me saying "hm, don't know. I emailed him but didn't hear back from him yet." M and I both knew I would get the trip because the rules say you have to be over 125% of goal for the year. I ended up at 134% of goal. But many were on the edge and didn't know for sure if they would get it. For my colleagues, I was REALLY excited. A great team member has been with the company for 10 years and just got the trip for the first time. She's one of the hardest working, most diligent sales people I know, so I nearly cried when I saw her coming up to the stage. In fact, our team did so well almost everyone from top (VP of Sales for our Division) to bottom (people like me) won with the exception of 2 people. Pretty amazing.

Anywhoo. It's good to be home. I'm so glad to get back to eating normal, non-buffet food. Not being around 1400 of my colleagues 24-7 and being home with M and our kitties. 3 days of non-stop meetings from 8am-5pm followed by a Regional cocktail hour or cocktails with your team followed by a huge group (read: buffet) dinner till 10pm followed by more meetings from 8-5 the next day is rough. Plus the fact that we have to share rooms! means you have absolutely NO down time. You are constantly surrounded by someone or many people every single minute of every single day for 3.5 days. It's absolutely exhausting.

So, it's VERY good to be home. Even if that means doing loads of backed up laundry, bills, going through mail, figuring out meals and general chores around the house, I still say "Yeah home!"

Getting stuff done (sometimes) and moving on....

I certainly don't have interesting racoon-love fests happening on my roof like BT. Nor is work particularly exciting. Last weekend M and I spent many hours catching up on sleep, reading the paper and basically lazing around. M was officially recovering from a horrific sinus infection that wouldn't go away compounded by a post-cavity filling/broken tooth-fixing pain that has increased rather than subsided. So it's been pretty quiet on the homefront. We burned through our two Netflix selections (both happened to be Entourage Season 3). And as you can tell, I have a rockin' Saturday night here in my jammies, debating whether to hit the gym for the second time this week. All in all, I have been lazy.

Today, however I vowed to be productive and got a lot of stuff done. I went through the pile of crap on my desk that has piled up and was dismayed to find a gift certificate to Le Papillion that expired November 30, 2007. Bummer. Found my Voting Guides (that's tomorrow's to-do). I gathered all of our 2007 tax documents (wee! another to-do tomorrow and next weekend). And I just finished printing off everything we could possibly need from M's to-be-former-employer's website since his access will be turned off at midnight tonight. Once I finished printing all of that stuff, I got really sad. I can't believe it's the end. It's really the end of an era for both M and I. We spent the first 7 1/2 years of our marriage with this airline, flying all over the globe with our benefits (there are literally only 2 continents we haven't been to on these benefits), complaining about management and crew scheduling (who doesn't though). It's really sad that in 5 short hours, it'll all be over. He'll be working for the new dog in town, Virgin America.

For some reason (I haven't quite figured out yet) I'm having a much harder time with this transition than M is. It's wierd since as an investor, I like taking risks. I figure, I'm young, I have time for my portfolio to balance out. But in life and when confronted with life-changing decisions, I feel risk-averse. I don't like jumping into the unknown when the status quo is working for us. Even though M has spent a large chunk of his time as a pilot commuting to his base, his current base (for the next 5 hours) has been working for us. It's a hell of a lot closer than ORD and with better weather and fewer delays, so he usually gets to and from work just fine. I love our benefits and I love that he's so senior he gets all the holidays off, weekends off, any vacation time we want and a rockin' schedule. I'm not looking forward to all of that changing in 2008. So even though everyone is telling me they think VA is going to be a success and "o mi god, aren't you so excited?!" I'm not so much. I am excited for M, but I'm not excited about this huge life-altering change. Like I said, I'm risk-averse when it comes to life and I don't like diving into the deep blue unknown.

I think I actually have heartburn from the concern. Geez. I do need to hit the gym right now.

Hasta! Enjoy the Game tomorrow (or the snacks if you're like me and only care about the food and seeing Tom Brady)!